Saving A Life
by NKL
Summary: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang fic. Harry had no idea what was wrong with Perry. He learned how to save a life... the hard way. HarryxPerry. This story doesn't have a happy ending.
1. Saving A Life

Chapter Title: Saving A Life  
Rating: Teen  
Warnings: Death  
Pairings: Harry and Perry  
Note: I loved the song "How To Save A Life" so much, that I decided to write a sad story. No, this isn't a songfic. But it helps to listen to the song while you read this. I practically had this song on repeat while I wrote this. I was also crying. This is in Harry's point of view, too, by the way.  
Summary: Harry had no idea what was wrong with Perry. He learned how to save a life... the hard way. HarryxPerry. This story doesn't have a happy ending.  
Setting: Wherever they're at.  
Disclaimer: I don't own them, go away.

**-SAVING A LIFE-**

Harry Lockhart is my name, just sitting here on my chair in the kitchen, waiting for Perry to get back. He'd been coming home really later for about a month now. I have no idea why. I never have an idea about anything, or so he says.

Asking myself why he'd be so late, I began to think. What were some of the things he's been telling me? What does he talk about?

Really weird things. Like if we were boyfriends and stuff. That kind of scenario. Every once in a while, he'd start a sentence off with "if we were boyfriends, then something something".

Realizing I was thirsty, I stood up and pulled a clean glass out of the cupboard and got myself a drink from the tap. I really missed Perry. Or more rather, I missed the way he'd yell at me, scowl at me, hit me, or throw things at me. No homo.

Yes, I've been missing my friend, Gay Perry, I can't lie about that. He barely comes home. He never tells me what he does, but I know he's out at clubs, drinking. And if he does come home, it's after dawn.

Lately, he'd been coming home drunk, or high on something. I'm starting to worry. I check the clock on the wall, and it's been over an hour since I decided to sit here and wait for my friend.

On top of that, he's been talking to me less. It's not like I had nothing else to do but wait for Perry to come home, I mean, he always treated me like shit anyway. My friends (more like my one friend besides Perry that is) would ask me why I put up with his attitude.

Very good question though. I never really thought about it myself. Actually, I never really think at all. Well, I don't show it. I have a brain, you know. But back to Perry... well, there's not much to say. He's not the type that talks about his feelings. It's a very bad thing to do to not talk about your feelings.

Even I cry some times. Sometimes I have to take a walk just so Perry doesn't hear me crying. I don't know why I cry. It might have something to do with Harmony after I told her to get lost, and having not seen her in a year. But I know I've only been crying like that for maybe two or three weeks. Maybe I'm lonely.

So I just sit and wait. I hear a rattling at the door, and I stand to see what it is. Perry comes in, eyes red and face unshaven. He looks at me and frowns. "What? What are you looking at? Idiot, get to bed. You shouldn't be up so late, you dumbass," he scowled, walking up to.

Perry was blind stinking drunk out of his ass. "Perry, you're wasted, come on," I pleaded, taking a step away. I could smell the alcohol and something else on him.

Effort was wasted trying to stay away from him though, since he just grabbed me by the collar and pushed me against the wall. I was scared. Not like a little bit, but like a lot. I thought I might piss myself.

Reaching for my face, he stopped himself mid-way. Instead, he raised his hand like he was going to punch me. "Don't talk to me like that! You asshole! You... idiot!" he cried, as his eyes started watering. Was he crying?

Run away, my mind told me. But I couldn't. Something about Perry was compelling me to stay. "Perry, what's wrong? Could I help you? What's that smell?" I asked at once, nervous as shit.

Yelling, he just let go of my collar and screamed some more. At the top of his lungs. Nobody screams like that for nothing. Had he lost his mind? "You're a fucking moron! How could you not know what's wrong?! It's all your fault! You fucking asshole!!" he roared, throwing a vase at the wall next to me. I could tell by his screaming that he was full of nothing but hurt.

This was a part of Perry that I've never seen. Usually, he was calm and collected, but now, I was more afraid of him than I usually would be. "Perry, what's my fault?" I asked him calmly, as he pulled a bottle of beer out of the fridge.

He smashed the bottle into the counter, and held it up to my throat. "Everything! You're a clueless idiot! I HATE YOU!" he wailed, dropping the busted bottle on the hard floor and putting his hands to his face and crying.

I frowned to myself and held my arms out. Should I hug him? I guess it seems like a nice thing to do. Though I have no idea what I did wrong.

So I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight to me. He was warm and smelled strongly of booze. He was wearing that blue sweater he wore when he took that bullet for me.

Nobody would take a bullet for me. Why didn't he just push me out of the way?

"Harry," he choked, sobbing into my shoulder, "Harry," he said again. "What is it, Perry?" I asked him softly, stroking his soft hair. "Why? Why do you make me feel so bad?" he asked me, calming down a bit.

I had no idea what he was talking about. He must be delusional. "What do you mean?" I had to know. He just started bawling again. Usually, he was so hard to understand. I mean, not because I'm an idiot like he says, but because he always keeps everything inside.

But right now, I really wanted to know, so I could help him. "Harry, you're such an idiot. I always do everything for you. I got you a job, I helped you out, I let you stay here in my apartment... so why don't you... why don't you..." he paused and sobbed some more, pushing me away.

I could only stare. What was he trying to ask? "Why don't I what, Perry?" I wanted to know, but he walked away, and made his way to the bathroom.

He locked it as he shut the door behind him. "Perry! Come on! Tell me! I want to know!" I shouted, as I pounded the door with my fist.

"Why don't you like me, Harry? I've done so much more for you than I've done for anybody else. Why do I waste my time anyway? You're not gay! I should just kill myself now, because you'll never feel the same way! You're so caught up thinking about Harmony, that you never realize just what you put me through!" he cried from behind the door.

I was shocked. All this time, Perry liked me? Me, of all people? I couldn't understand. I could never understand him. Ever.

"Perry, come on out. Let's talk. Okay?" He didn't answer.

"Perry?"

I grasped the doorknob and turned it. He probably unlocked it. I opened it and saw Perry in his blue sweater, just standing there, tears on his face.

"Goodbye Harry," he told me, as he held a syringe filled with a yellow liquid to his arm, before squeezing its contents into himself. I didn't even have enough time to scream. I just watched him inject himself, with what looked like rat poison.

I just saw him smile up at me. "Perry!" I cried, dashing towards him, grabbing the needle and throwing it into the bathtub. "You fucking idiot! Why did you do that?! Perry? Perry!" I could only cry as he slumped over, falling into my arms.

I couldn't hear anything but my heartbeat. My head was spinning, and my heart was racing. It's like time had stopped. It's like the world stopped spinning. As if... Perry WAS my world.

I don't know how long it was until I came back to the real world. But it was long enough to realize that if I didn't help Perry, he would die.

_I managed to get him into the car and drive him into the hospital._

_I got him inside, and the people there rushed him to the emergency room._

_I ran and followed close behind, not wanting to lose sight._

After they had Perry hooked up to whatever those machines were called, they tried and tried. They tried to keep him from dying.

I was allowed to stay in the room with him, holding his hand, hoping that my best friend wouldn't die.

"Please Perry, don't die on me," was all I could say to him. Tens of hundreds of thoughts rushed through my head at this instant. One of them... was that I loved Perry too, deep down.

"I love you Perry, please don't leave me here all alone," I begged him as he turned to face me. Tears rolled down both of our faces, and suddenly, he was the only one in the room I could see.

All I could see was Perry. Just him. My only friend in the world. I could feel the hot tears behind my eyes, and I couldn't hold them back anymore. I cried and cried and I didn't want to stop.

I cried the same way I would cry when I'd go out for a walk, just to think about Perry. Gay Perry... he was everything. I never realized it until now. I really am an idiot. How could I let something so wonderful get away from me like this?

He even took a bullet for me. He let me stay in his house. He would comfort me. He was all I had.

"Harry... I'm sorry," were his final words as he smiled to me, and he slowly shut his eyes.

My eyes filled with tears, and I was brought back to the real world, seeing the doctors panic, as Perry flat-lined. "We're losing him!"

After that, I couldn't remember much. Just that I couldn't speak to anybody. I could barely think one thought without thinking about Perry.

The next day, I got word that Perry's funeral would be tomorrow. Valentine's Day. I'd have nobody to celebrate this day with... I could only cry. I haven't left the house all day. I couldn't think about anything. I couldn't eat. I've tried sleeping and forgetting Perry, but it ended with me crying even harder.

But for Perry, I knew I could promise one thing. Next time something like this happens, I'd know what to do.

I'll know how to save a life.

**-AUTHOR'S NOTE-**

I don't know where I got the idea for this story, but I heard the song and fell in love with it. I also probably got Perry out of character, but everybody has a mental breakdown sometime. This won't be a one-shot!


	2. We'll Be Together Someday

Chapter Title: We'll Be Together... Someday  
Rating: Teen  
Warnings: Sadness.  
Pairings: Harry and Perry  
Note: Go listen to Mariah Carey's "One Sweet Day", quick!  
Summary: Perry's funeral.  
Setting: A cemetary.  
Disclaimer: GTFO. I only own the sounds of my own pathetic sadness.  
POV: Harry again.

**-WE'LL BE TOGETHER... SOMEDAY-**

I could barely see straight today. Perry's funeral. They even had the sad music and shit. Shit. I wish I could stop crying. I wanted to scream. I wanted to bawl like a little bitch. I wanted to die.

I wanted to throw myself into that hole they were putting Perry in and pull him out. I wanted to be able to bring him back to life. I wanted a chance to love him.

There were so many things I never told him. Like how I loved the way he would smirk when he said something smart-assed.

I wish everything would stop happening. I wanted to go back, at least two days, in time. Then maybe this never would have happened.

But deep down in my heart, I know we'll be together. Someday.

There weren't a lot of people here. Maybe about two dozen people showed up. Maybe because Perry didn't want the whole world to know. Or maybe because not many too people were too close to him. But who could get close to him? The only people he let into his heart didn't know it...

I know you're watching me from Heaven, Perry. Wait for me there. I won't keep you waiting. Not again.

They lowered his casket, and began to bury it. Now it hurt. Watching them cover him up like that... it was driving me crazy. I wanted to stop this, but I knew there was no way I couldn't.

I wish I was less of an idiot, and more of a friend. I knew I loved Perry, but I never took the chance or the time to tell him that. I never got to tell him how much he meant to me.

I never got to tell him thanks for everything he's done for me.

I'll never forget my first and only friend in the world.

There were people around me talking, saying words I couldn't understand. I couldn't understand anything. I couldn't understand why Perry never told me how he felt.

It's fucked up that he'd kill himself right of front of me.

It's even worse that he didn't trust me enough to share his feelings.

Before I knew it, it was all over. The gravestone was set in place. The people had placed flowers. And then everybody left. I was alone now.

"Perry..."

"I'll never be able to understand you. But maybe in time, I might start to, you know, learn why you'd do this. To yourself... no, why you'd do this _to me_."

I took a deep breath and fought back the tears. It started to rain now. Damn rain.

Then I remembered the time he talked to me about the definition of the word "idiot".

_"Look up 'idiot' in the dictionary... you know what you'll find?"_ he asked me.

_"A picture of me?"_ I asked him, totally clueless.

_"NO, the definition of the word "IDIOT", which you fucking are!"_

Maybe I am an idiot.

My mind is scattered. I've been standing here, for well over six hours. I haven't spoken to anybody. I haven't eaten anything. And I still can't sleep.

I decide to go home, and try to rest, but it's pointless. So I took a bottle of aspirin and emtied it into my mouth, swallowing, finally knocking myself out.

**-AUTHOR'S NOTE-**

I'm so morbidly depressed for some reason. It started yesterday when I wrote the first chapter for this. There's no reason for me to be so sad! They're not even real people...


End file.
